Here are 6 signs that people are taking advantage of your kindness against you.
It is unfortunate and annoying that the friends and loved ones who should appreciate your efforts and show you love are constantly criticizing you. And you feel that they are taking advantage of your kindness.
If this thought has not crossed your mind, it is still better to stay informed and secure with yourself rather than feeling doubtful of a questionable or unsafe relationship with someone.
Here are 6 signs that people are taking advantage of your kindness against you.
1. Emotional abuse
A telling sign that someone is manipulative and taking advantage of your kindness would be they are displaying signs of emotional abuse. The National Domestic Violence Hotline lists these signs as signs of emotional abuse:
- acting possessive or jealous
- refusing to trust you
- constantly insulting
- invalidating your feelings and needs
- gaslighting
- blaming you for their actions and abusive Behaviour.
Unfortunately, the list is long and such emotional abuse and manipulation can also be hard to detect. They use their controlling behaviour and tactics to make you feel insecure.
2. Ignoring your boundaries
Someone who is trying to take advantage of your kindness will ignore your boundaries and values. Your generosity is exploited for their personal gain, and they won’t accept any limits you place between you. They will relentlessly reach out to get their specific needs met.
When your personal boundaries are not respected, it can be challenging. Therefore, it is essential to take the right actions for distancing yourself from such types of persons.
3. Selective attention
Selective attention is one of the most notorious traits of a person trying to use their goodwill against you. This person will ignore you when they do not need anything from you. But will reappear when they need your help. This kind of behaviour defines what is known as the yo-yo relationship. A yo-yo person will come and go as per their needs. They only stick around for their selfish reasons. The only thing they care about is their own well-being. Beware of such selective attention. If you notice such signs, make sure to remind them of your boundaries.
4. Constant judgment and criticism
Are you dealing with someone who is constantly judgemental or critical?
Professor of philosophy and author, Caroline J. Simon explains that judgemental behaviour can include having a moral rating system that is skewed in your own favour.
- making a lot of negative moral evaluations of others.
- Jumping to negative moral conclusions about others.
These people are often threatened by your admirable traits and qualities. They consistently try to put you down in order to make you doubt yourself.
5. Guilt-Baiting
Using guilt-baiting allows someone to push your boundaries, disregard your values, and circumvent your boundaries. As per Professor Preston Ni, “Guilt-baiting can look like unreasonable blaming and targeting the recipient’s soft spot. Their goal is to hold you responsible for their happiness or unhappiness, success or failures. Thus, they can target your vulnerabilities and weaknesses.”
6. Victimhood
Victimhood gives the manipulator the opportunity to exploit the recipient’s goodwill, guilty conscience, sense of duty and obligation, or protective and nurturing instincts.
In order to be effective with this move, this person will deliberately put on an innocent, helpless, or weak façade to make you believe that they need you for something that seems important.
Initially, these signs can be very hard to detect, but once you recognize it, it can be a huge clue to someone‘s ill intentions.
So, do you recognize any of these signs? If you ever find yourself in a situation where people are taking advantage of your kindness, please reach out for help.
