I think there are three phases when you falling in love. It can be an attraction, attachment, or lust,
It is a fact that you have to have the first two to fall in love in real else there is very good chances
that you might fall in the category that is ‘Lust’, required for friends with benefits.
Oftentimes, there are some situations that occur as one or both the partners aren't sure if or not
they want anything more serious than the relationship they are in and maybe it is because of a lack
of better options.
Okay, so what is a situationship, anyway?
Situational relationships, a.k.a. Situationships, defined when you are more than friends with
someone but seem like less than a relationship. An “almost relationship,” which probably includes
everything including sex but not commitment. Meaning you’re not just friends, and just casually
hooking up, but haven’t defined the relationship.
People do not agree on what really defines a situationship, so here I have listed some of the major
signs that may help you to identify and give time to re-evaluate your “situation”:
1. Defined relationship: There is a chance that you might be in a relationship that seems
like a situation only if you haven’t put a label of ‘relationship’. Perhaps you’re just having fun
and hanging out or even want to take things slow and you feel like it’s too soon to have a
serious talk about where is this (relationship/situationship) going or headed, and when you
finally, realize that your partner isn’t even ready to commit to a relationship.
2. Lack of consistency: When you’re in a relationship, it is obvious that meeting frequency
is more regular and tends to increase eventually. However, on the other hand, people who
are in a situationship may meet periodically. Probably, you see the person once a week for
several weeks, and then suddenly don’t hear from them for 3 weeks, funny though isn’t it?
3. No emotional connection: Do you know the basics about the other person’s life, like their
favorite food, dish, or traveling destination they are willing to go to. But, if you haven’t really
opened up to each other about the deeper stuff and secrets, and if you don’t rely on each
other especially for emotional support, then you’re in a situationship. Also, when you
definitely have feelings and they’re not reciprocated always.
4. Can see other people: While living together if you’re still seeing other people then it is a
clear sign that you’re in a situationship. It happens when you or your partner are not ready
to settle down or keeping your options open and you might not know for sure because you
don’t discuss things or share or haven’t talked about being exclusive.
5. Haven’t met family and friends: If you guys hang out more often and haven’t made an
effort to make plans beyond dates or booty calls, it might be a situationship. It is pretty
6. Feel confused and unsure: This happens with some people in the early stages of dating
as it feels exciting at first. But, later it brings confusion and anxiety because of a lack of clear
direction and it can be a source of stress, especially if you have feelings for the other person.
7. What next or future talks: You or your partner won’t talk about it because you’re not
really sure if you want to be in a committed relationship with each other. Future plans are
not discussed as you may not be a part of the other person's life for the long term.
What comes next?
If you’re done with all the fake and unemotional relationship i.e situationship and decide to move
on, it can be a sigh of relief. Here are a few ways that can help you move on:
1. Your support system: Lean on your support system that can help distract you and also
cheer you up in harder times! Seeking a therapist may be helpful in this scenario as they can
help you regain lost self-esteem and give you the tools you need to move past the harm and
hurt feelings it caused. Family and friends can be your strong support system if you will let
them help you so, spend some time with the people who make you feel good and want to
take care of you.
2. Create some space: Stop feeling bad about it for something who aren’t responsible and
even if you’re, who cares. Everyone makes mistakes but then they forget about them. You just
have to take some time for yourself and unfollow the person who broke your heart from
every social media platform.
3. Keep a journal: Only if you like to read and write. Make a list of what you are planning
to do next with your life or what you want to look for next time when you will be in a
relationship. However, my personal suggestion would be, never write anything which upsets
you or make you feel sad because it doesn’t make anyone feel any better after reading the
the sad part of any story it and as long as it will be there, you will never be able to forget it.
4. Hobbies: Ask yourself what makes you happy on a daily basis, and what will help you to
regain self-worth, and to plan out how you can make that happen. You can start by finding a
new hobby that can help you to earn money too. Not only this will help you to forget about
the stuff which you want to forget and will also help you find a purpose in your life.
What are your chances?
Many relationships can progress from casual to serious relationships but if this is not something you
are interested in, then you have to know your boundaries.
Think about what you want exactly?
You must decide and think about what exactly you want from this relationship. Because if it is a
relationship based on some situation then it going to end sooner or later. There are chances that you
may have agreed to be casual at first but eventually, you may change your mind later. Also, the same
thing applies to your partner if he/she wants to get serious and you aren’t ready.
Options available when you realize that you’re in a situationship but you don’t want to.
– Just wait and see if your relationship develops naturally.
– If not then try to develop emotions and make sure it works.
– Walk away and stop wasting your time if nothing works out and concentrate on your
career and life as you have so much to do in your life. Stand up for yourself by telling your
partner that you’re moving on because it isn’t working for you.
The best and the only thing that you can take from a situationship is the lessons that you learned
along the way about yourself. I guess what I am trying to say is that everyone’s situationship is
different and each experience holds its own emotions and truths. For some people situationship
work and it is okay for them when things don’t end happily ever after.
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