Friends can be Toxic, romantic partners can be toxic, but can family be toxic too?
Toxic Family:- Family stays together, through thick and thin. Friends can hurt you, the whole world can hurt you, but family can never hurt you. The world may conspire against you, but your family will never harm you. This is what we’ve known. This is what has been taught to us. But have you ever considered that even your family can be toxic?
People might not be willing to accept that their own family can harm them but sometimes it is true. A family’s bonds are based on mutual love and respect but what happens when there is a lack of respect or love? Or what happens when there is too much love? And we all know too much of anything is bad.
It is a well-known fact that all families have their own problems but what if some families have more than just a little problem? What if their problems are deep rooted and are causing physical or mental harm to others? In these cases one must accept that their familial relationships are toxic.
One often thinks that family can never be wrong or bad, but it is not always the case. Sometimes, it is the family that causes many problems in one’s life. While it is hard to confront the family about it, it is even harder to separate oneself from such situations.
Many times it is not clear that one is in a toxic family. Gauging toxicity within a family can be very tough. So we are pointing out a few things that might make you re-evaluate your familial relationships.
They are abusive.
The first and foremost obvious trait of toxicity is abuse. Physical and sexual abuses are the most blatant ones and most often the victim knows that they are being abused. Emotional abuse is often not very visible but is certainly felt by the victim. It is always advisable to remove yourself from such environment. In cases of physical and sexual abuse, try contacting authorities as safely as possible.
They are controlling.
Youngsters always feel that their elders are too controlling and are always trying to take over their lives. However, there is a difference between controlling and parenting and guiding. Control under the guise of guidance can be gauged appropriately when behavior becomes forceful or leaves someone in fear.
It happens that sometimes people don’t realise that they’ve become controlling. What they think is care actually becomes control. In such times it is advisable to talk about it only if it is safe, if not seek help as safely as possible.
They play the blame game.
It is an obvious sign of toxicity when your family members refuse to take the blame. For a toxic family, it is impossible to take the blame. They see no wrong in anything they do. It is quite possible when people might not notice that they made a mistake, but when it keeps happening, then know that they have malicious intentions.
They like to make threats.
Often, elders feel that for the younger members to take them seriously, they need to instill fear in them. They like to make threats. Such threats, when made constantly, and sometimes followed by physical punishments, instill fear among the younger members. It should be clearly understood that living in fear is not right. Instilling fear in someone is not right. People must understand that respect is earned, and not gained through fear.
They don’t care about your feelings.
Toxic relationships are always one-sided. People with toxic behavior only care about their pains, their sufferings and their emotions. They like to do what they want without regard for anyone else’s feelings. They often disagree with what you say, even if they know you are right. If the toxic person is the reason you are feeling anxious or depressed, they will likely try to convince you that you are the problem, rather than addressing the situation and trying to resolve it.
If you find yourself in a Toxic Family relationship, and if you believe that it is unintentional, then try talking together as a family. Family therapy is also a great help in these situations. If the toxicity is intentional, it is advisable to remove yourself from the situation. In case of physical or sexual abuse, try to seek help as safely as possible.