Just got dumped? It’s terrible. But as long as you’re here, read on to know what’s coming next in different stages of break-up.
When a relationship ends, it really sucks. Period. And not just the ones who got separated, but also the ones who were related to them.
Breakup is hard for people who don’t want to accept the fact that this is the end of their relationship. Emotions make things so damn complicated by putting you in a state of despair because accepting the loss of a loved one is hard and feels impossible.
Perhaps, that’s why we need to take things slowly, even if it means one day at a time, step by step, and day by day.
After a breakup, you find yourself in different phases and you are compelled to suffer through them. But knowing where you’re exactly in this process will give you a tremendous advantage or you can say a heads-up because you will be prepared and you can decide how long you should stay in each phase and the benefits that you get out of it.
Here are the six stages of a break-up.
Now, these stages don’t actually have a particular order or sequence but it happens to everyone who has suffered a hard break-up.
Bargaining: This phase involves looking for ways and solutions so that the relationship could still be saved. The stage where you beg for one final chance out of complete desperation, by using some old cheesy lines: I swear I am a changed person, I promise I can change, I know I can fix this. Well, we all know this happens and sometimes they might even give you another chance, but the fact is, it happens most of the time because they feel bad or don’t want to accept it either. You need to understand that they’re hurting too but they’ve most likely already made up their mind, so you be prepared for them to try to get out of the relationship again and this time this bargaining thing won’t be helpful. Even after if convincing, your ex shows you clear signs that he/she doesn’t want you and you feel completely rejected and that is the bargaining stage came to an end.
Denial: You can say it is a part of the bargaining stage where you refuse to accept reality as it feels like a nightmare. You believe or think that it’s just another lovers’ spat and you don’t accept it because of the fact that you’re in denial. You feel like this because you’ve given everything to one person, and it feels like your world is ending, so accepting it is very hard and seems impossible. You may even remain hopeful and dream that you and your ex can get back together and you tell your friends that it’s just a phase. You even pretend that you’re both still together to your mutual friends who don’t know about the breakup.
Sadness: Ugh, perhaps the worst part of the breakup and not everyone experiences this phase. It happens with the ones who were truly shocked by the separation from their exes. Round-the-clock crying, waking up feeling sick, unable to sleep, and not being able anything along with mood swings and it all comes with this stage. It can last anywhere from a few hours after the breakup to several weeks, months, or years or depending on how good you’re with handling emotions but it must end else chances are you will go into depression. Now, to recover yourself from this not-so-fun state, allow yourself to feel your emotions instead of blocking them out by screaming, writing a journal, talking to a loved one or best friends because you have to let those feelings out, even if they scare you. According to experts, this is one of the healthiest stages of a breakup if handled properly.
Anger: And this is the stage that makes you feel so damn good. But using anger as a strategy to cope should only be a temporary thing otherwise it will turn you into a very different person. It is fact that lingering on anger makes things worse in the long run who knows who you may hurt in the process. In this phase, it’s a good way that can help you ignore your feelings of love and affection towards your ex and often makes you realise that what was wrong in the relationship and what went wrong. You just have to be very careful to not focus too long on the negative traits and qualities of your ex because when you do this, a feeling of revenge may develop and it may not end well.
False Acceptance: The phase where you think you’ve moved on. You start to feel good, and your life is finally getting better and you realise how much better your life is without them. But then, one night comes and you decide to get back out there and date. You want to go out with friends and have fun but instead, you get drunk and you hook up with the first stranger you see thinking everything is going great, right? Wrong! The moment you get intimate or emotional, your ex’s face pops into your head and all of a sudden you can’t stop thinking about him/her. Everything you worked so hard to forget is now all flooding back into your mind because often sometimes when you think you’re over it, something small or unexpected may trigger you and you’ll be back at square one. Just be careful with your life.
True acceptance: And finally, the actual acceptance stage you were waiting for where you accept the fact that the world isn’t over yet. Now understand, the only difference between false acceptance and true/real acceptance is that you won’t or never get triggered by anything. Even if you hear their name or you see them, it won’t make you feel weird or if you see a post they’re tagged in and you won’t feel a thing. It is always essential to surround yourself with positivity or the people who care for you during this time. Keep your friends and family close to you and spend as much as time you can with them and also try to avoid unhealthy habits like drinking or binge eating.
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