Are you getting mixed signals? Here is what you can do
Giving and receiving mixed signals can occur at any point in a relationship, no matter whether you’ve known the person for 5 days or 5 years. When it comes to dating and relationships, there are many who face difficult time understanding each other even with good communication, and when you add confusing texts, social media, and dating apps into it, there is even a lot more room for misunderstanding.
Simply put, when someone is giving you mixed signals time and again, then it is a clear sign that they are not interested. It is a form of miscommunication like when someone’s being inconsistent in the messages or an inability to communicate effectively. Mixed signals occur all of a sudden because the person who is giving wants to keep you as an option.
Here are some common mixed signals and tips on how to deal with them and next time when you find yourself in a similar situation, try and remember any of the following:
1. Game of messaging: A random text out of the blue after disappearing for a long time means he is just checking if you’re still there and care enough to answer or perhaps just wants your attention. Also, at times, you get frustrated when they respond late to your texts because usually it takes less than a minute to revert and if you’re in a romantic relationship, replying late will cause only issues.
If it goes on and on, it is a crystal clear sign that he doesn’t want to be with you. He may be somewhat interested in talking to you but not interested enough to be with you. You choose to share your life with someone who makes you feel wanted, and when that someone responds late to every message of yours, makes you feel unwanted.
What you should do: If someone’s words lead you to believe that he is into you, but his actions said something else, then it’s time to listen to the actions and it won’t take long, you will get a clear picture soon because actions speak louder than words. If a text is short and effortless, don’t even bother to text back because you will be giving him the impression that he can have your attention anytime.
2. Change of behaviour: He says one thing and does another and looks at his phone all the time even when you are with him. He won’t show affection in public but has no problem doing so whatever he likes when you’re alone. If someone truly interested in you then their actions should match their words, isn’t it?
We can understand for some people it can take a few dates or moments to get comfortable enough in a relationship to be that open about it, but the real question is how much time.
What you should do: Prepare to walk away once you realized that he is reluctant to introduce you to his family and friends even at the right time. If someone can’t show you affection unless you’re alone, then it is not just mixed signals, it is a warning sign.
3. Change of plans: He says he can’t wait to see you again but are surprisingly “too busy” to even make plans. If he actually wants to spend time with you, he’ll make it happen no matter what. If he isn’t in a place in his life where he is able to prioritize his relationship, then he won’t be able to give you a commitment at all.
No matter how well you two get along or how much chemistry there is, if now is not the time then when is. You should know when to walk away if mixed signals continue; and decide what you are willing to live with because you deserve better than to be with a manipulator.
What you should do: Have patience if you really want this relationship to work, and believe what they have told you. Probably, they have their own reasons so give your partner the benefit of the doubt and show trust, but only until it is broken. Also, get a second opinion from your trusted friend if it helps because your friend may see things more clearly than you.
4. Conversation: Talking about mixed signals can be tense so if it is done right it will be really helpful. Try to stay neutral in your language as possible as you can. Also, don’t afraid to ask direct questions if you feel something’s wrong because it doesn’t mean you’re being pushy, but a few well-chosen questions can clear a lot of things up rapidly.
What you should do: Don’t take it personally of something unexpected happens. Since mixed signals are very confusing, there is a good chance it may have nothing to do with you. Don’t jump to any conclusions or assume anything because you can’t know for sure what’s going on inside another person’s head all the time, so you can’t control what signals your partner gives you, but you can sure control how you react to them.
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