When the going gets tough, the tough get going
Before we proceed any further, we would like to take a few seconds to say we are sorry for your loss. A miscarriage can amount to a really traumatizing experience to an extent where nothing ever feels the same again. There are chances you might lose yourself. But, taking care of yourself after a miscarriage is crucial for both your emotional and physical healing. This process starts with you.
Here is your power kit to help you identify what to do after a miscarriage:
- Make sure you don’t have any health complications– This must be your first step after a miscarriage. A woman’s reproductive system is extremely sensitive post a miscarriage. So, make sure to follow up with your doctor for any chances of complications of infections. If there is a recovery plan that has been suggested, make sure to adhere to it strictly. Your doctor knows best.
- Eat. Pray. Love- It is absolutely imperative that you eat healthy 1to assist your system in its recovery process and ensure that there are no complications that might arise while planning future pregnancies. Increase your dietary fibre intake with leafy green vegetables, antioxidants with blueberries and chocolate, vitamin C with apples, potassium with bananas, lots of meat-based protein and iron-based foods. Try to avoid caffeine, alcohol, sugar, processed foods, salt and dairy as they can exacerbate anxiety and inflammation. Keep your food simple, clean and natural, and make it an act of self-care
- Exercise and Sleep- Exercise can help relieve anxiety-inducing symptoms2. But it is essential to follow through only after your doctor’s approval to ensure that it is safe and completely risk-free. It could be as simple as taking a walk around your block or attending a yoga class. You could listen to your favorite music, read a box or just strike a conversation with a number. This would help you see the difference between being mindful and being mind-full. Stay active, and at night, follow a routine that helps your body understand that it is time for sleep. Ensure the room is at the right temperature, take a warm shower, avoid-gadget use, read or follow a guided meditation. You could also try herbal and ayurvedic remedies to assist in this process.
- Heart-to-Heart- Losing a child to miscarriage almost feels like something extremely personal and intimate to you has been unfairly snatched. You begin preparing for a new beginning, and then everything is just dark. Like a black hole. It’s a fair understanding, but it doesn’t have to be that way. A miscarriage isn’t the end. You might probably feel like you are the only one in the world who has gone through such a tragedy, and rightfully so. No one can compare to your experience. What might help is opening up to people or a support group with similar experiences? The person might be unknown to you, yet you will find familiar comfort in a shared experience.
- Support your partner- For men particularly, an important question is, how to support wife after miscarriage? It has been found that after a miscarriage, men often struggle with feelings of loss and inadequacy3, often stemming from extreme helplessness. Men definitely do grieve, albeit differently. The delightful wonder of your first time being pregnant, the unmitigated joy you felt and the optimism of what was to come will always remain an etched memory itching to make its way to the surface. Men suffer the loss second hand, by proxy, but the pain is still real. Therefore, lean and consciously, yet vulnerably rely on each other. Communication is key. Be certain to actively listen, allow each other to grieve, and not rush the process like there’s a deadline. The closure will come, but gradually. Attempt to remember the experience in your own way. Focus on what it taught you and how you grew as a couple. Therapy is a significant starting step in this direction.
- Acknowledge all your feelings- It is natural for you to experience a myriad of emotions, be it powerlessness, frustration, anger, guilt, regret or anxiety. After all, how to be positive after miscarriage? But, instead of bottling up these emotions, try to discover an alternative channel. You could keep a journal to allow yourself time every day to reflect on how you feel, almost like a time-feeling capsule4. The time you spend in journaling must be unabashedly yours. It will help you crystalize your experience and hopefully process your feelings toward yourself, your loss, and the world around you.
- Treat yourself and take a break from work- Sometimes, trying to get back to normalcy can help, and sometimes taking some time off is all you need. Give yourself whatever you need, no questions asked. Be there for yourself. Work your way towards smaller accomplishments.
In such a time, even you deserve a second chance at nurturing yourself to recovery. At the same time, if it is any consolation, it is important to remember that moving forward is not about forgetting and feeling numb but about forgiving and accepting what happened. Find the calm after the storm.
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