Being Friend with your ego: Is it a good idea?
“We must go beyond the constant clamor of ego, beyond the tools of logic and reason, to the still, calm place within us, and the realm of soul’- Deepak Chopra
We all live in a competitive world, where everyone is running behind their individual targets, to prove themselves better than others. Who actually are these others? It’s none other than our own friends, folks and relatives. However, the fun fact here is that it’s mutual. While we are trying to surpass them (thanks to our materialistic life), they too are trying the same. This has always made me ask 2 specific questions to myself: All this for what and why?
All this fuss….for what?
Over a period of time, we all have gradually learned to seek happiness in the things around us: Cars, house, clothing, jewelry, job and what not. Thanks to the programming we have done to our mind. And amongst all this, we have also gradually unlearned to be happy with the moments, people and emotions we created. The loss is ours, but the choice to is ours. In between all this, we are rearing a generation who will be more competitive, egoistic and lack emotions in the near future.
Why all this fuss?
One thing for sure…we all want to be the winner of our game in our lives. No matter what, we want to win the game as that is the only means by which we can satisfy our EGO!!! You, I and every one of us thinks that peace will only come when things fall into place as per our will. How can this be possible?? Instead, things will fall into place once peace prevails in our life. And for that, we need to give up staying into a self-created world of ours & the desires which ultimately feed the ego of ours. If uncontrolled, we make our ego bigger than our emotions, relations and us!!
Is it that BAD??
If someone negates of having an ego, that’s completely incorrect. Ego is a sense of self. The sense of “I. Ego is having a passion, a goal in life and the drive to achieve the same. Ego is present in the excitement when we achieve what we sought. And we all have it. Just named differently: self-esteem, self-confidence self-respect etc. The important thing is how we use it in our favor and create a halo of positivity around us. This halo helps us to identify our true needs from life, the emotions we need to cultivate and the hope we need to have to cherish the people and moments around us.
Till a certain level, ego is important to us, as it develops the drive within us to go for the ultimate achievement-Peace and contentment. It is important for us to embrace our ego, for introspection and to attain the fact of the core self. This process of self-discovery is known as self-realization, as the fact is that we are the path to our own development of wisdom, soul, and growth. Ego is a friend if learned to use in a correct way.
It’s the spark to our creativity, and fire to the soul and fuels to the dreams. Ego helps us to cherish the bonding we develop in the journey of life hold the relations we value by being humble and kind. A person with a diminished ego is nothing more than a person living without any objective in life. Low self-esteem makes a person nothing more than a wandering soul without a purpose.
However, if uncontrolled, we are nothing more than the slaves to the self. It devastates the spirituality every human has within him/her, destroys the rationale and compassion we should have towards others and culminates the understanding about the surroundings and others.
It makes us believe in the world we create around us, which operates on our terms and conditions. A mirage we create around us, to satisfy our ego, our desires and our sense of security. We stop taking “No” to our solutions and ideas and start negating the logical understandings of others if it doesn’t match with ours. We start thinking that failure is not for us. And ultimately, we stop LISTENING to other, and LISTENING to our soul. And amongst all this, we become judgmental and start comparing the success we achieved than those of others.
Probably, to avoid all this, we should take off some time and introspect. It’s good to ask questions to self, whenever we feel that we are going on a different path. This is a part of self-realization activity we can do for ourselves, to keep our ego under control. Here are a few questions that you need to ask yourself to keep your ego in check.
- How many people will walk with me in the time of need & Uncertainty?
- What kind of emotions currently I am having within me?
- Has failure deterred me from trying again?
- Is it material or the emotions: which is important for me?
- A friend got a promotion, was I happy with this news?
- Can I go beyond my way to help out someone?
- How frequently I took No as an answer to my ideas, in a positive way?
- Am I a good listener? Does my listening help others?
- How frequently I adjust with the ideas of friends and relatives, to retain them in my life?
- Do I give up easily on people and relations, considering that I will meet new people in life ahead?
There may be many more questions which may help us in introspecting self. The above are only a few.
Wrapping up- “Value the relationship with self and others, and the emotions we inculcate in life, and not the things we attain, because it’s the people, which keep us going and not the things.”