The heroes of Bollywood teach men to self-destruct to impose love on women

Heros that self destruct in love are not heroes


Haven’t you heard the melodramatic dialogues like “Mai tumhare bina jee nhi sakta” (I can’t live without you) or “agar tumne haa nhi kia toh mai apni jaan de dunga” (if you don’t say a yes, I’ll end my life) from men who are in love. Well, this may sound too melodramatic, but some men not only say this but they also end up doing so. Go and google it for yourself about how many men have taken their lives to put the woman in guilt or have blackmailed them on the same basis. Well, we really don’t know from where did they take the inspiration for the same but we definitely have seen figures who give such kind of inspiration.


Read more: What is Kangana’s Obsession with Karan Johar? Why can’t she spare Karan from any tussle she dwells in

Do you remember this film and this scene?


Well, this is one scene of this film, though in this film, Ranjahana, Kundan cuts his wrist atleast twice, both after Zoya rejects him leading to Zoya falling in regrets of rejecting him and regretting his choices. And then she started to embrace him. In the classic example of love stories, in Devdas (2020), after Paro’s rejection, Devdas became an alcoholic, and he ended up dying at her doorstep. Similar is the case with Kabir Singh, the toxic lead finds, as a sign of protest or to show his anger, overdoses himself with morphine just because his object of desire, that he is soon to be marrying has not come on time to meet him.

shah rukh khan

And an example to not forget, Darr (2003) where Shahrukh Khan’s characteristic as a loner who obsessively stalks women and finally ends up dead. But here, wi0th this film, a strong discussion that the society should have dwelled themselves is about the mental health of young men that get affected post-relationship, but instead, it happens to reinforce the romantic routine. This anti-hero and self-destructive character more so often have started to come in front of us and have honestly started putting the onus of the death of a man in love on the woman he was in love with.

The arguments are often sugarcoated with the stance that failure in a relationship often leads to mental health issues and off that, they happen to commit themselves harm. Well, it is an acceptable argument, and heartbreaks can create mental health issues and lead to self-harm behaviors (may include – not eating, becoming alcoholic, and becoming suicidal). But is that trauma piling up in a way, that it starts to find out ways to get their love back? A common stigma around mental health is more so like when you tell that you are not mentally healthy, you get what you want. If looked at properly, the cinema shows it in a way that it is the “rejection that is causing extreme reaction and self-harm” instead of finding “extreme reactions to rejections as a problem”. If they would have chosen the latter, they would have looked for the solution to the man showing extreme reactions.

So, what does the Bollywood, or in fact the filmmakers need to do is a deep study of their characters and their representation? Making a film is a deal of great responsibility, as it influences the masses in different ways on a conscious and subconscious level. And cinema is something, everyone watches, hence, any such character that can have a foul representation should be avoided by the makers.

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Ishika Aggarwal

Can write, shoot, listen, talk and procrastinate. A feminist at heart, Ishika is an avid writer and multimedia person who loves talking about women, realism, and society. When not working she is either seen watching films or making one.

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