Choosing motherhood later in life: How millennial women have completely changed the definition of motherhood?
Becoming a mother has always been a big deal for women. It is an altogether different journey and a lot of things change when a woman decides to become a mother. In India, marriage and baby are still considered one of the biggest achievements in a woman’s life. In our country, for the majority of women, it is not a choice, but it is a compulsion. If a woman decides to become a mother later in her life, she is often considered over-ambitious. After all, traditionally it’s a woman’s duty to bring up a child, right? But millennial women have completely changed the definition of motherhood. A lot of them are choosing motherhood later in life and are completely unapologetic about it.
As per a survey done in Delhi on 1000 working women, it was found that only 18-34 per cent continue their work after having a child. Even if women have family support and are financially sound to pay for child care, they have a lot of guilt. A lot of them associate it with not being able to give the right amount of time to their children, thanks to the social conditioning of the women, who believe it’s only their job to raise a child. Overall, things aren’t great but they are not that bad. Millennials are breaking the norms. They are known for making unconventional choices. When it comes to marriage and baby, millennial women choose what works for them, not what works for society. Conversation on IVF, freezing eggs and choosing motherhood later in life has become common, thanks to influential women who decided to initiate a conversation around this. But not everyone is well-read or not everyone has access to the best of the facilities available. In that case, we decided to help you! Keep reading to know what one of the best gynecologists in Delhi has to say on choosing motherhood later in life. After all, one needs to get his or her facts right.
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(When she wants to be a mother should her choice)
Recently, a hashtag- Itsawomancall was trending on social media. Celebrities like Anita Hassanandani and Farah Khan took to Instagram to share why it is important for women to choose when they want to become a mother. If she chooses to be one later in life, she shouldn’t be judged for it. She also lauded the Sony TV show, Story Nine Months ki to raise such an important issue! The lead of the story chooses to become a single mother and chooses IVF treatment. The show is receiving a lot of love from the audience by bringing an important issue into the mainstream. This also shows that Indian television is now moving towards progressive content. They are also normalizing the concept of choosing motherhood later in life.
Talking about IVF treatment or even choosing to become a mother in the late thirties, there are many celebrities in India who have made a deliberate choice and have always been vocal about it. Be it, Farah Khan, Karan Johar, Tushar Kapoor, Ekta Kapoor, Aamir Khan, and many more. A lot of them opted for IVF pregnancy and some opted for surrogacy. But a lot of people argue that they are celebrities, they are aware and can access the best of facilities. What about common women? To understand the scenario, we got in touch with Dr Meenakshi Ahuja, Director, OBG, Fortis la femme; Academic Secretary, Delhi Gynaecologist forum.
We asked a few basic questions that can help us to understand how motherhood has changed for millennial women?
How things have changed when it comes to choosing motherhood later in life considering you are into this profession for such a long time?
“I have been a practising Gynecologist in South Delhi for over 25 years. Definitely more and more women are opting for planning childbirth in their thirties compared to a limited few earlier. Women used to be very comfortable about having at least a couple of children, but now they often opt for only one. However, I must admit that now women are well-read, well aware and prioritise their pregnancy and openly discuss all options compared to a quarter of a century decade back.”
Do you feel it is important to strike this conversation more often so that choosing motherhood later at life doesn’t remain a taboo?
Definitely; knowledge is power and every woman should be able to discuss her options openly, and make informed choices regarding pregnancy and childbirth
Now, we have seen many celebrities talking about getting their eggs frozen at a certain age? How Accessible this process is for all the women out there?
Not only celebrities but young career women are more often discussing and opting for egg freezing. It is an easily doable process and I would recommend it to almost every young woman around 30, who plans to have her babies after 35 🙂
You must realise that not only does infertility increase as age advances, chances of chromosomal abnormalities in the pregnancy also increase with older mothers. So not only are the eggs more abundant under 30, they are of much better quality too.
We also decided to take some of the most asked questions by women when it comes to planning a pregnancy?
One of our readers asked – If I have PCOD, is it advisable to wait till my late 30s to conceive given that conceiving for me already has some complications
To which, Dr. Meenakshi replied,
PCOD- you must spend a couple of months working on your fitness and correction of PCOS and plan pregnancy as soon as possible. Delaying pregnancy to late 30s is definitely not advisable.
Another question was:
Even if I freeze my eggs, will my body be capable enough to go through a healthy pregnancy in the 40s?
If you freeze your eggs, it’s your duty to ensure that your body is fit enough with advancing age to prevent complications like gestational diabetes and hypertension in pregnancy. It is ideal to plan a natural pregnancy in time, these are all fall back options if having pregnancy by early 30s is not an option.
Note for every woman
Be it 25 or 35, it is completely your choice when you want to be a mother! All you need to do is to get your facts right. No doubt, It is a beautiful journey and a blissful experience but looking at things that work for you doesn’t make you any less of a woman.
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