Consent is Important: 10 Important things you need to know From Ankita Kumar Murder case
- What had happened to Ankita?
- Consent vs. Ego: Why is it so difficult to accept a NO?
- Consent is important
She aspired to become a police officer, but her dreams were crushed when she was set ablaze by the accused stalker. The 19-year-old Ankita Kumar succumbed to burn injuries.
What had happened to Ankita Kumar?
The attack happened in Jharkhand’s Dumka district. The accused, identified as Shahrukh Hussain, has been arrested. But what shook the nation was that her attacker walked smiling while being taken by the police.
As per the statement given by the victim, he poured petrol on the teen girl from outside the window of her room when she was sleeping and set her on fire.
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The accused had called her on her mobile a few days ago, pestering her to become his friend. When Ankita denied her repetitive proposal, Shahrukh threatened to kill her.
She informed her father about the threat. The same night Ankita went to sleep and experienced pain on her back and smelled something burning. Her parents doused the fire and took her to the hospital. Her entire body, except the, was burnt, and she struggled even to speak.
90% burned Ankita could not survive and was cremated.
Consent vs. Ego: Why is it so difficult to accept a NO?
After the story went viral on the internet, swift action is in demand. Protests have erupted against the incident. However, the matter of consent is being overpowered with communal spin.
The whole incident happened because an egoistic man could not accept a girl’s rejection.
Consent is not a new term for us. For ages, it has been in the dictionary. Still, many of us don’t know what it stands for. The #Metoo movement has gained momentum in Indian society. Stories are endless, and these stories have triggered a range of emotions. Sexual consent cannot be assumed. It should be vocal, enthusiastic, and continuous. Here are ten essential things that we all should know about consent. The actual meaning of consent should be taught to people, especially young ones. For example, if you had consensual sex once, that doesn’t mean you have the go-ahead to have sex again.
Consent is Important
Here are 10 important things you need to know about consent
1. If you are not sure, then get the confirmation
Do not assume things. They didn’t say No, but they didn’t say Yes, either. But you need to confirm it with your partner. Take away all the doubts and questions. And stop there- get solid approval. Sometimes action speaks louder than words; if your partner is getting tensed, ask again.
2. Consent is not only given by a woman
Yes, consent means two people are equally involved in a sexual act. Consent is something that is not gender-specific. It is essential to seek your partner’s consent, even if you are a woman.
3. Coerced Consent is not the way out
If someone says no to you and you tell them that you will be unhappy otherwise, keep trying until they give in. That is not consent. They are just expressing support because they don’t have any other choice.
4. Consent once is not consenting forever
If someone said yes to Sex once, that doesn’t mean you have permission forever. You must respect their decision if someone wants to stop in the middle of something.
5. But in the BDSM world, No May Means a Yes – What do then?
For those who are unfamiliar with this word. Let me first tell you what it means. It means Broken down into bondage discipline, submission/sadism, and masochism. In this world, No means a Yes. But things can go wrong if you are unfamiliar with your partner’s body language. In the BDSM world, the words No and stop are viewed as Yes. These terms are typically ignored as clues to stop an activity. But you cannot assume things. Be sure. So, asking your partner will be a good option.
6. You have to hear yes from your partner
It would be best if you heard yes from your partner. Do not assume things. Be vocal about your feelings, and let the other people express their feelings truly.
7. No is a complete sentence
A No means a No. If someone has said No to you, you must respect the other person’s decision. You can’t force them, and you can’t mess with them.
8. You need to have consensual sex with your wife
Yes, Wife! Just because she is your wife, you can’t have sex with her without her consent. Marriage doesn’t permit you to have sex whenever you want.
9. Is there any connection between consent and clothes?
No, there is no connection. If someone wears a short dress, that doesn’t mean she is available. There is no connection between consent and clothes.
10. Giving/ Getting consent when someone is high
Here things can mess up. If you have sex with a high person, the consent here can land you in a terrible situation. It is always advisable that you should wait for validation from your partner when they are sober.
Remember Facing a rejection never makes you a failure. A relationship never grows based on coercion. No matter who you are, everybody has the right to choose people in their life.