Stop Pleasing everyone, it’s not your cup of tea
Well, we here are not saying that people Pleaser are not good people. Of course, they are, at least they try to keep everyone happy around them and never hurt others sentiments. But everything in this world comes up with some pros and cons, right? Similarly, when you try to please everyone around you sometimes you end up making no one happy.
People pleaser fail to give their opinions sometimes. For many, people pleasers, the eagerness to please stems from lf self – worth issues. They hope that saying yes to everything asked from them will help them feel accepted and liked. Other people-pleasers have a history of maltreatment, and somewhere along the way, they decided that their best hope for better treatment was to try to please the people who mistreated them. Over time, for them, people-pleasing became a way of life.
If you too have the same problem, then something needs to be changed, guys. You can consult a psychologist or counsellor and easily handle this problem. Here are few signs that show you a people pleaser:
1. You pretend to agree with everyone
Listening politely to other people’s opinions even when you disagree is a good social skill. But pretending to agree just because you want to be liked can cause you to engage in behavior that goes against your values. This is a serious problem. Everyone can have their own views for sure.
2. You feel responsible for how other people feel
It is healthy to recognize how your behavior influences others. But thinking you have the power to make someone happy is a problem. It is up to each individual to be in charge of their own emotions. You are not at all responsible for it.
3. You apologize a lot
Whether you excessively blame yourself, or you fear other people are always blaming you, frequent apologies can be a sign of a bigger problem. You do not have to be sorry for being you.
4. You cannot say No
Whether you say yes, and then actually follow through, or you later fake an illness to get out your commitments, you will never reach your goals if you can not speak up for yourself. Saying no is not a wrong thing for sure.
5. You act like the people around you
It is normal for other people to bring out different sides of your personality. But people-pleasers always act accordingly to the situation. Studies show that people-pleasers engage in self-destructive behavior if they think it will help others feel more comfortable in social situations. For example, people-pleasers eat more when they think it will make other people happy.
6. You need praise from people
While praise and kind words can make anyone feel good, people pleasers depend on validation. If your self-worth rests entirely on what others think about you, you will only feel good when others shower you with compliments.