It’s easy to forgive others but it’s hard to forgive yourself
Nobody is perfect in this world everyone makes mistake, right? Well, it’s easy to forgive others if they make any mistake, but it is really harder to forgive yourself. This is because we have set multiple expectations from ourselves. You have probably heard that one way to get over a past wrong is to forgive the perpetrator. But what if it feels like when you are at blame? Forgiveness is a solution to every problem. Renowned psychologist Worthington has said, ” A lot of people struggle with self-condemnation or self-blame because they’ve either done something they feel was wrong and they feel guilty, or because they feel that they are wrong or defective in some way and they feel a sense of shame.”
What is Self –Blame?
Well, all the cases of self blame are not harmful. But self-blame is worth addressing when your negative feelings about a big misstep in your life, or a series of smaller ones, become chronic. This ongoing self-directed negativity makes you feel bad in the moment; long-term, it’s linked to a host of mental and physical ailments including depression, cardiovascular problems, and immune dysfunction.
There is often no way to undo past mistakes, but you can make amends with them. Here, are following steps of forgiving yourself:
1. Receive Forgiveness from the world
Take a step back and look at the bigger picture, not just those guilt-inspiring moments of your life. Remind yourself that everyone make mistakes, and that you, too, deserve to be forgiven. Making mistakes are part of our lives. If you have a spiritual practice, revisiting your teachings and growing your connection with your beliefs can also help you let go.
2. Repair damaged relationship
Repair your broken and damaged relationship. For example, if you continue to feel guilt over causing a traffic accident, pay it forward by advocating for better safety precautions. If you regret not being there for your children when they were younger, ask what you can do now to make up for the past.
3. Reduce rumination
Giving past failures less time and attention is one way to help move forward. But you also need to examine the expectations and standards you hold for yourself.
4. Act out a ritual of self-forgiveness
Recall the hurt this situation has caused. Then actually give yourself the empathy you would give someone else. It may help to go through a ritual of forgiveness. Write yourself a letter, give yourself the length of a hike to process your feelings one final time, or create a tangible expression of the painful experience, such as a sculpture in the sand or a pile of rocks in your garden, to commit to that self-forgiveness. Forgive your mistakes and go with the flow in order to live happy life.
5. Embrace self-acceptance
Even after you have forgiven yourself, you may have a hard time coming to terms with your past mistakes. Accept what you cannot change. Remind yourself that actions do not define who you are. Getting stuck in the past makes it impossible to move forward to a better future. Accept the bitter truth.
Forgive yourself and live your life beautifully!
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