Dating: Nay or yay?
Dating is not always all about watching movies together or spending time over the phone. A lot of things have changed with the passage of time. Dating has changed a lot since our grandparents began their romance. In the old days, we used to meet people who were members of our social, athletic, or religious organizations. We were introduced by friends and family members who worked as informal matchmakers. Well, dating has made the things easier for a lot of young people. Always remember dating does not guarantee marriage.
We are able to meet and date a great many more people. Old standards of behavior no longer apply. The Internet has changed dating dynamics in fundamental ways. And many people date for fun, with no interest in dating as an aid to finding a permanent life partner. Yes, people do date their online friends just for fun. Dating is actually fun!
If you are new to dating or if you are getting back into it, here are few things you need to know.
- IT IS NOT A COMPETITION
Much of what you read in books and online characterizes dating as a game. One partner is the predator and the other is prey. Dating is a kind of pursuit, and only one partner prevails. According to this view of dating, men win the game when they have sex with the object of their attention. Women win when they achieve a long-term relationship without using sex as a quid pro quo. This view of dating is widespread but it is inaccurate. Many people still date because they enjoy fun and romance. Many dates because they are interested in meeting people and finding a long-term partner. There are no rules for dating, and you need not adopt the “predator” or “prey” role.
- IT IS NOT (JUST) ABOUT MARRIAGE
Dating does not ensure marriage. Dating is traditionally a milestone on the way to matrimony – and it still is, for a great many people. Few couples marry without dating, and marriage remains a possibility at least in most couples’ thinking as they enjoy dating. More and more people are enjoying dating for its own sake, however. They recognize a continuum stretching from acquaintances to soul-mates, with friendship smack in the middle. You can have dinner or go to a movie with a friend without a lot of romantic baggage. Maybe you are not ready to get married, or maybe you have decided marriage is not for you. That is no reason to avoid dating.
- IT IS NOT JUST DINNER & A MOVIE ANYMORE
Traditional dating included traditional dates. They took place on Friday or Saturday evening, typically including dinner and some kind of entertainment. Well, dating is not only about dinner dates and movie dates. There is nothing wrong with dating on Friday and Saturday nights, but the modern world offers a lot more options. You can attend poetry readings on weeknights or go hiking in the afternoon. You can have a long-distance date via Skype – even watch a movie “together” though you are miles apart. You people can cook together.
- ONLINE DATING TO THE RESCUE
Life is much busier for us than for our grandparents, with a great many more distractions. Social clubs and churches do not play central roles in our social lives anymore. That means it is much harder to find people we are compatible with. That is why online dating is a godsend. It is easy to locate potential partners you have a lot in common with. You can communicate with them in a high-benefit, low-cost way. And if you click online, you can schedule a face-to-face date.
- REMEMBER TO HAVE FUN
For our grandparents, dating was a serious business. It was important to find someone and establish a household. Today, singles have more options. The pressure to get married is much lower. People settle down much later, or never. And dating is no longer simply a means to an end. If you are entering or re-entering the dating world, take advantage of all the modern options. Meet interesting people and spend time with them. And above all, have fun. Dating is supposed to be fun.
Its high time to change your perception of dating! Dating does not always include love, sometimes it is about fun!
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