This is how you should behave with the people who always yell!
Now- a -days yelling has become very common phenomenon. People are frustrated with life and their work and of course that frustration leads to yelling. Yelling is a topic relevant to every person on this planet because everyone has raised their voice in anger at least once in their lifetime. Some people yell on a regular basis, but we are all guilty of yelling at some point in life. Yelling is a not a solution to every problem. Always remember yelling is not healthy for relationships.
Yelling is damaging to relationships. It is not a constructive way to deal with a difficult situation, yet every person engages in yelling. You should be aware of your own yelling, understand why some people are constant yellers, and also know how to deal with a yeller.
Why do people yell?
Now, basic thing is to understand the causes of yelling. Why people yell? When someone is angry and they are yelling, there are a variety of reasons that they are yelling. That could be personal reasons as well. Most reasons why they are yelling are not good reasons for yelling, so it’s important that the recipient react correctly, which more about not being reactive is. Here are following reasons why do people yell at others!
1. Poor coping skills: Many people yell because it is their go-to coping mechanism in difficult situations they use it as a coping mechanism. But this coping mechanism does not have good long term results. If person is a yeller because it is how they have learned to cope in life, they need to get some help in finding better ways in regulating their emotions. Otherwise, they will destroy only their relationship.
2. Loss of control: A person may be a yeller because they feel a loss of control over the situation. They may be overwhelmed by the thoughts, feelings, and emotions and are experiencing a loss of control over all of these things at once. When people get overloaded they lose control and start yelling.
3. Aggressive tendencies: Some people are simply aggressive individuals. They may yell and the aggression may escalate to a physical altercation. You rarely see a physical fight that does not begin with raised voices, shouting, or yelling. If someone is yelling at you and you don’t know this person well, you should be on your guard that the yelling can lead to a physical confrontation. It is important to avoid reacting in an aggressive manner to someone who is an aggressive yeller, because it is like pouring fuel onto the fire of their anger and things can become physical.
4. Learned Behavior: Some people become yellers because they grew up in a household where their parents yelled on a regular basis. They just observed behavior of others. They learned that when conflicts arise, so do voices. They have not learned proper coping behaviors when they are faced with conflict and difficult situations.
5. Feeling neglected: Some people raise their voices and yell in anger because they feel the other person is not listening to them. They may have even repeated their message several times and finally they resort to yelling in anger because the other person had not responded to their other tone of voice.
How to deal with yellers?
1. Stay calm and composed: Remember that when a person is yelling, it is not you that has the problem, it is them. They have poor coping skills or another reason for yelling that has nothing to do with you personally. If you will react things will go worst do its better not to react and remain calm and composed.
2. Try to assess situation: Before taking any action in the situation, pause mentally to assess things. This will allow you to figure out whether it is worth waiting out the yeller or to leave the situation. Always remain yelling is not the solution.
3. Ask for a break from this person: After you have calmly addressed the yelling, the next step is to request that you take a break from this person to think. You may also need the time to calm down yourself, as their yelling has caused your adrenaline to rise sky high and you don’t know how much longer you can hold it all inside. When you are asking for a break from the person, it should be more of a statement than a question, especially if it’s not your boss.
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