Parenting is not an easy job. Here are 10 things you should never say to your child
Parenthood is tough and dealing with your kids can be tougher, especially when you get annoyed at their actions. But as much as your kids might annoy you at times, it’s important to understand that they take everything seriously that you say to them , and will get hurt even if you don’t mean it. Here are 10 things that you should never say to your kid.
So, here are 10 things you should never say to your child
1. When I was your age….
If you feel like your child is being given many more privileges and is much less appreciative than you, telling them about your childhood is not the answer. They’ll simply take it through one ear, and out the other. If you feel as though you kid is much more grateful than you, then you need to talk to your kid about it rather than talking about your life.
2.You’re so stupid…
It is normal to get irritated with your kid, especially at times when you’re in the kitchen and your child can’t do one thing right to help you. This is when we can all too easily tell them “you’re so stupid” this phrase can really hurt a child. It can make them feel like they are a failure at everything they do.
3.That’s enough food for you….
Using this phrase, especially at home will make your kid feel self- conscious. If your kid loves food and likes to eat, rather than limiting their food intake you could encourage them to play outside. Kids feel safe at home with their parents, so saying such a thing would make them feel unsafe and as if they cannot be themselves at home.
4.Don’t be silly, you can’t be upset…
Many times kids get upset about insignificant things. However, as parents, we have to take a step back and realize that their world is much smaller than our own. A friend acting strange, or not getting something they want can upset a kid greatly. Instead of telling them their problems aren’t valid, try to talk to your kid about it.
5.I do everything for you…
One of the most damaging things for a child is the un-lived life of a parent. Lastly, this leaves the child with no place to put their hurt and anger. They think, if mom and dad are selfless and do everything for me then how can I be angry at them. The problem must be me.
6. Why do I have to tell you everything 100 times…?
If you have to endlessly repeat yourself, then you need to rethink your communication strategy. Kids have very selective listening and they’ll tune you out. Instead, try asking open- ended questions to get to the root of what’s going on.
7.Shame on you…
Shame is a concept that younger children don’t understand. When you tell them they should be ashamed of themselves, all they hear is that mom or dad is mad at them and they don’t know why. Even worse, shaming may lead older children to be more defiant and aggressive.
8.You are so smart…
This seems like a nice way to compliment our children, but when overused or used exclusively, it teaches kids that they have a natural gift and they need not to do hard work. Some kids will then start to avoid situations they are not so smart after all.
9.You can’t do that….
When we tell our children they can’t do something, we’re saying we don’t believe in them or think are as good as others. But each child needs to know that their parents love them and have confidence in them.
10. Girls/boys don’t do that…..
A child is a child, so let him/her be. Don’t create gender- biased rules. Let kids decide for themselves, whether to be more like a girl or a boy when they grow up. Don’t stop them exploring things they may be curious about or good at.